Failure does not breed success when it comes to the brain, according to MIT scientist Earl Miller whose study of monkeys is cited in the Boston Globe article of August 3, “Why success may breed success.” When a correct response is rewarded, higher-intensity signals fire between the two learning areas of the brain. This increases the odds that the next answer will be correct too, according to Miller and his colleagues. To me, this seems more like Pavlov’s Dogs than true education, but still it sparks a question.
Instead of blaming yourself or your child, remember that the most important thing for your teen in the short- and the long-run is a loving relationship — and put your energy into building that. Try to reduce the pressure you feel and ignore messages that tell you, “If you were a great parent, you’d have this child shaped-up and performing.” Those messages are myths.Finally, make sure your teen has activities where he thrives. It’s not that your child shouldn’t have challenges and defeats along the way. Kids develop from doing something they love even if they aren’t “good at it” or even if it doesn’t seem to be important.
These don’t have to be formal, structured or expensive programs. For example, one week last winter John raced out the door every day after school to play in the snow. In the end, he created an intricate and elaborate snowboard park. John is learning and succeeding in this project, even though it isn’t part of his formal education.
Where there’s love, energy and enthusiasm, you can be sure there’s successful learning.
What is your child’s experience? How does your child learn best? I’d love to hear your comments!
I originally wrote this for Positive Psychology News Daily and the original article is here.